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Woman alone with baby in kitchen
‘We help mothers to rebuild their lives for themselves and their children.’ Photograph: Alamy
‘We help mothers to rebuild their lives for themselves and their children.’ Photograph: Alamy

Help with post-separation coercive control

Police and social services can be unwittingly manipulated into becoming part of the abuse suffered by some mothers, writes Annie Moon of the charity Mums in Need

Thank you for publishing this article during October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month (Paul and Jack were murdered by their abusive father. Why had the family courts granted him contact?, 1 October). I’m a trustee for Mums In Need, a charity supporting mothers in Sheffield affected by post-separation coercive control. So much of what you’ve said in this article reflects the stories that we hear from our service users.

Domestic abuse can start after separation or be a continuation of what happened during the relationship. It’s about maintaining control, and usually there are two ways of doing this – through money (economic abuse, eg maintenance) and the children (eg contact via the family courts). In this scenario, the perpetrators have a new raft of tools at their disposal and other services – police, family law, education, social services, health – are often unwittingly manipulated into becoming part of the abuse picture.

As far as we know, our service is the only one of its kind in the country. We help mothers to rebuild their lives for themselves and their children. We offer wraparound emotional health and wellbeing services, access to a case worker, peer support and practical help (when we have the funds to do this), such as legal assistance and counselling. However, the demand far outstrips our capacity.

Anecdotally, we know that the issue nationally is significant – you only need to take a look at the comments posted by followers of the Instagram account @LegallyNik (run by a Mums In Need patron). We’re determined to do more. Long term, we want to roll out our support model nationwide. We want to flip the narrative through education, training and awareness. The starting point for this is training family law professionals. This is where change will happen.
Annie Moon
General trustee, Mums In Need

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